When Opposites Irritate In Relationships

It is a general belief that you are most likely to attract someone totally different from you, totally opposite to your temperament, views and ideologies as a single person seeking a romantic relationship. That’s the uniqueness which attracts you to them. They are different, not like you. They seem totally different from you or your sister or any woman previously in your life. That attraction ignites a goal or desire to be together.

 

Having being married for eleven years to a wonderful woman, I can tell you with confidence, the courtship experience will not be the same as your marriage experience. It is not a planned reality or a deliberate intention. A lot of factors contribute to the changes; life pressures, kids, job demands, losses, external factors and if these factors are not managed properly, it could lead to a breakdown of the relationship. It’s interesting how we (spouses) appreciate our differences before marriage but attack it in marriage. It is at that point that opposites stop attracting and start to irritate. How did that happen? What happened to the attractions?

 

Marriage is a very dynamic mix designed to bring the best out of you. Marriage is not designed for you to lose your personality or identity. When the preacher said, “the two shall become one” on the wedding day, it was not a licence to lose your identity or personality but to have one agreed voice on issues despite your different opinions; not to force your spouse to be like you but to appreciate their difference and alternative view of things. Your perspective is not always the perfect view; learn to encourage others views based on where they are standing or viewing from.

 

Every spouse should be encouraged to have their individual view on issues but thrive and agree together to have a view both will support and stand by. One easy way resentment creeps into relationship is when one spouse’s views are not considered and it eventually causes the entire family grieve and pain. Indirectly or directly, everything you do affects your family. Two becoming one concept in love relationship is a great concept of fusing two ideas, strengths, personalities into ONE great entity. One decision made from two different perspectives both can stand and defend anyday anytime.

 

Marriage and love relationships do not create problems but reveal them. Every problem has a solution. Leaving a relationship without dealing with the revealed problem does not solve it. Rather, it will come with you to your next relationship and the cycle will start all over again. Every day you postpone what you should confront,  the battle intensifies and the strategy changes. As the Italian Proverb goes “Every time history repeats itself, the price goes up.” One little issue can turn into a monster if not addressed sooner than later.

 

I will conclude by saying, opposites may attract but similarities in core values, belief and vision can make all the difference in your relationship. Don’t just be swept off your feet with attractions, look out for similarities that can make them stay!

Tagged: Marriage, RELATIONSHIPS, SPOUSE, TEMPERAMENT, WEDDING DAY