If there is one thing I cherish in life, it is relationships at all levels. I live and breathe relationships. I owe where I am today to different levels and types of relationships that have come into my life. Most of these are still in my life, few have made their impact and left. We were created to be social beings. That’s the secret of the social media revolution, if you are still wondering. Everything we have done, are doing, and will do is influenced by different types and levels of relationships in our lives per time and season. No matter how bad a season is, there is at least a relationship designed to see you through the difficult patch until you cross over to the next season. Generally, I invest in relationships until I am advised otherwise by the other party.

 

Due to my relationship-driven personality, I have rare privileges and opportunities to listen to many people at different stages and seasons in life, and one question keeps popping up. It is a question born out of frustration and sheer determination to pin down what needs to be done to live the preferred life. Most, if not all, have an idea, a picture of a better life they wish they could live, but somehow there is a gap, a vacuum between the present and preferred life that will not close up despite all the hard work, best efforts and sacrifices.

 

I spoke with a dear friend about this post and he threw a statement in the midst that kept me thinking even more. He said, ‘Life does not set standards, people do.’ Anything is good enough for life, but you decide if that life is what you want to live. We decide. The decision has led us all to where we are today; either still pressing ahead or deciding to stop pressing and start coasting. Life, as it is, is not fair, and the only way it can be fair and favourable is when we decide and resolve to do something about what we don’t like about our current life conditions. It can be frustrating however, putting all the work in without a desired outcome. I remember a time in my life when I needed to change my job. I knew I had outgrown my current position, needed something new and challenging that would stretch me further in my career development. From February till June, I made at least 5-10 applications daily. I was invited for three interviews around June, was successful in one. I could have decided to stop applying. I truly wanted to stop because at the time, it seemed my best efforts were always coming short of what I expected. What was really humiliating was making the application without receiving any acknowledgment. The silence spoke beyond words that my CV or experience was below the market expectation (well, that’s what I thought at the time).

 

So, the question is, what can we do when we feel our best is not cutting it, not enough to get us the result we desire? These are few tips that worked for me:

 

Your Current Best Is Not Your Best

In the history of 100m races, which began in 1891, no one ever finished the race faster than 10 seconds until Jim Hines, an American track and field athlete broke the 10-second barrier with fully automatic timing, running an electronically timed 9.95 to win the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. What we consider our best today is not really our best, but what our best effort can produce for now. There is always more we can offer or do if only we can dig a little deeper. The time was reduced to 9.58 by Usain Bolt in August 2009

 

It’s Time To Reassess

It would be insane to continue to do the same things and expect different results. Not achieving the result you want from your best efforts may be a sign to hold fire and reassess your input. This may include getting a fresh pair of eyes that are not emotionally invested to have a look at your approach. You may not be totally out of tone, it may just need little tweaking. I had fresh eyes assess my CV and I realised that the CV was not presenting my experience and skills accurately.

 

Be Objective

I must admit, this is rather difficult to do when it is your issue. I am great at giving others advice and pointers to what they can do than giving same to myself. I can handle other people’s pressure better than mine. I wonder why? Because I am not emotionally involved or invested in their case. I am beginning to train myself to listen to my own objective advice.

 

You Need Another Plan

There are times we may have to accept that our best is not just enough. We may need to do something totally different from what we were pursuing initially, like quitting to start all over again more intelligently; another approach, another plan from a clean slate.

 

Know The Standard

Its important to know what you are being measured against. Most times, the standard is set outside of us and we have a responsibility not only to measure to the standard, but to exceed the threshold. Don’t waste your efforts without knowing what you are up against.

 

Tagged: Another Plan, Current Best, Reassess, Seasons in Life