Follow your path, not the crowd

As the Circle Line train approached the platform at London Victoria, I stood and step towards the crowded door, while waiting for it to stop. Being the rush hour, as usual there are many commuters on the train and on the platform waiting to get on the train. As the door opened, many literally gushed out of the train like a broken riverbank to either get on another train to continue their journey or exit at London Victoria like myself on that Thursday morning. London Victoria is the second busiest train station in London, serving nearly a quarter of a million commuters daily.

 

I must say, having lived in London for over a decade, I consider myself a veteran on using London transport networks, especially the London underground and overground trains. London Underground is one of the best transport networks in the world, if not the best. As long as you follow the tube map, station displays and signs, you can never miss your way. Not forgetting the station staff and ‘friendly’ Londoners are at hand to help if you need directions.

 

For some reason on this Thursday morning, I did something I had not done in over a decade. Maybe I was tired or lazy or I just assumed I would be fine because it was not my first time using the London Victoria station. I broke one of the unwritten laws of London transport – I ignored the display signs and followed the crowd. Without checking the exit signs, I trudged after this tsunami of people, assuming they were headed the same direction as me – the exit. I was wrong. Their destination was different from mine. They were connecting another line within the station. I had to trace my steps back to the platform and check for the exit sign.

 

Unknowingly, this is how many of us live our lives from one season to another without taking ownership and responsibility of our journey. Rather we prefer to transfer the burden to someone else by following their path, forgetting our destination in life is not only different but unique and specific to us. Because of my final destination that Thursday morning, I needed to exit at London Victoria and walk about a mile.

 

This message is not to oppose learning from people ahead or engaging a coach or getting formal training or serving for a season before you are ready to take hold of your future and destiny. I do and continue to do all of the above. This however, is to discourage following for following sake, not working your creative mind, not being intentional, ignoring your potential and purpose, ignoring who you can be. I currently work with young adults aged between 17-20, taking up apprenticeship instead of enrolling in university. I am one of those who place high value on formal college and university training. Having being exposed to the apprenticeship scheme in the United Kingdom, I discovered there are so many careers you don’t necessarily need the formal classroom training, rather work place experience and training are better suited. In a recent interview with one of the apprentices that completed the program who has since secured a permanent role with the company shared her story:

 

“I found my A-levels really tough and decided that university wasn’t the right step for me, so I reached out to the career advisers at my college to ask what else I could do. They simply gave me university brochures which had lower grade boundaries to get in. It was so frustrating and felt as if no one was listening to me.”

She decided to take the initiative and began researching what to do next. She stumbled on apprenticeships, which provide the opportunity to earn while you learn.

On her experience she said,

“I am so glad that I didn’t follow the advice of my college career adviser or ‘follow the crowd’ by going to Uni. I feel so many of my friends have gone to university because its the path that you are expected to take. I was made to feel less intelligent and academic because that wasn’t my choice. Yet, I have had so many amazing experiences here, attended lots of training course, gained my apprenticeship qualification, as well as HR Diploma. I have also gained something you can’t get at Uni – workplace experience and skills such as how to liaise with senior colleagues.”

 

This is one of many stories of people taking ownership of their lives and not necessarily ‘following the crowd’, doing what’s popular rather choosing what’s best for their career and future.

 

Why you need to stop following and start leading

1. Your life’s journey is unique and different from even your siblings’, and they likely grew up in the same conditions like you. They may complement each other, but they are different. I made an error of judgement, assuming fellow commuters must be heading towards the exit that Thursday morning because of the number heading in that direction. Because everyone is doing it does not make it right for you. Rather, let your purpose direct your path. It could be the best adventurous journey ever.

 

2. The unspoken expectation of your background, society, parents is not necessarily an indication of the path you should follow. You need to be sincere with yourself. I am a parent and I understand how we can subtly project many unaccomplished past ambitions and wishes on our children. We have been trying to get my son (who is 7 years old) to learn to play a musical instrument, and he is not just interested. But you don’t need to encourage or cajole him to build something with Lego. That comes effortlessly with him.

 

3. You are robbing yourself the opportunity to discover your potential and capacity. Until you tap into the possibilities, all your potential will remain nothing but potential. You will not discover what you can be.

 

4. You will be at the mercy of those whom you are following. You will end up where they end up, assuming and hoping they are headed where you hope to be. That’s why deciding whom you want to marry is a life defining decision that should be taken with all sense of seriousness and responsibility. Your marriage will either make or break you.

 

Do you know your path? Have you discovered your purpose in life? It may be difficult to follow an undiscovered or unknown path. I can help you discover, clarify, and simplify your unknown path. Fill in the contact details below and I will be in touch.