Life though scripted, unfolds as an unscripted adventure.
I have been blessed to witness and experience the birth, the beginning of two lives: our children, Oreofe (11) and Joshua (7). The whole experience was serene and humbling for me. But the scary part is knowing they were born with a purpose, identity and we have an unspoken expectation and responsibility as parents to help them discover and nurture it. I have watched them grow together as their personalities, purposes and identities gradually emerge. Though they are exposed to similar situations and conditions, my wife and I have begun to notice their personality differences.
Reflecting on my own life, though I may have discovered my purpose, my life is still lived unscripted. I am not sure of what may happen tomorrow but I am sure of one thing: I will make the very best of whatever tomorrow brings. I will not allow what I can’t change or control stop me from what I can change. There are many seasons I have experienced, seasons I will still experience that supposedly do not/will not have any bearing to my preferred future. The frustration for us in pursuit of purpose and meaning in life then is how do we live with our current “unpreferred”, undesirable life conditions? It may not be our choice, but that’s our current reality.
There are few seasons, past events, difficult situations I have experienced that, in hindsight, they are very relevant and important in developing me to live the life I crave and desire. These are what I considered then to be my “unpreferred” life. The pursuit and commitment to your preferred life will bring you an adventure of learning and development along the way. It may seems irrelevant at present, but in reality it is working towards making you ready, developing the capacity and character you need to live your preferred life successfully. Nothing happens to you by accident.
It is not the discovery of your purpose that is important but becoming the person of your purpose. Morgan McCall and his colleagues working at the Centre of Creative Leadership carried out a survey asking about 200 executives how they believe they learn and develop. The survey resulted in a 70/20/10 model that is widely use for training and development. 70% of learning and development is through ‘on the job’ experience, 20% through interaction with others (coaching, mentoring, collaborative learning) and 10% through formal education and training.
It is not the discovery of your purpose that is important but becoming the person of your purpose
Just like training and development is required for your vocation and career, I don’t think it’s out of place to train and develop for your preferred life. That’s exactly the purpose of your current “unpreferred” life condition. Your current life situation may not be the ideal you dreamt of, but it is as important as what you are hoping for. Why? You will need the experience. Let me share with you a few tips I work with in my life. I believe they can help you through these “unpreferred” life conditions.
Engage Your Current Reality
It took me almost 2 years to engage my reality after the global recession in 2009. Engaging your reality involves accepting your situation and making the best of bad situations. It involves controlling your emotions and responding positively despite the temptation of negativity.
