There are some decisions you make that change your story, change the trajectory, and how the story might end
This may yet be the most difficult, most important blog post I will ever write. The title may not do justice to the content you are about to read. The story is personal but not unique. It’s a reflection of stories that I have heard or of people I have met before. It may not be peculiar or uncommon, yet the impact is unbelievably huge. Not all who have walked this un-chosen path ever come out uninjured or stronger. Many are left with a sense of low self esteem and inferiority complex. This path may have become a stronghold that defines life and how some of us choose to live it. It may be difficult to say to someone who had an unpleasant upbringing or childhood or unhealthy pass into this world that, ‘It is not how you came to this world that matters, but the purpose and reason for which you were born – it matters and should be celebrated.’
Definitely, there may be questions unanswered, and some may medicate the pain of the past with different unhealthy actions and activities. Sitting behind the counselling desk and in the mentoring capacity, I have seen lives almost destroyed because of the pain of the past, not having the opportunity or outlet to talk about it, get the necessary support, or help to overcome the pain. The truth is, there is little or nothing you can do about your past, but you can do something about today that will have a positive influence on your tomorrow.
The truth is, there is little or nothing you can do about your past…
Over the last summer holiday, I had an interesting conversation with my mother that put many things in the right perspective for me and made me realize how incredibly blessed I am to have her as my mother. I have always thought my kind-heartedness, natural instinct to help people in trouble, or my natural pull towards people in difficult situations can be attributed to my calling and purpose in life. This is true, but most importantly there has been an unconscious natural instinct to identify with people and their stories, because I can see my own story within theirs. My conception was not in the normal family setting; it may have been an accident or unintentional, but the Creator of heaven and earth knew he would need a voice like me in this generation to fulfill part of his master purpose on earth of blessing humanity. The revelation surrounding my conception only fuelled my passion and commitment to my purpose here on earth: to inspire and empower people to discover their possibilities and potentials
We Are All Storytellers
My wife and I are one of those people who can be very teary and become emotional wrecks watching a movie, especially touching true life stories that resonate with us and what we have seen and experienced. Just yesterday, we were watching Queen of Katwe (a true life story) and halfway through to the end, my eyes was full of tears. Stories have a unique way of tugging at our heart strings and triggering powerful emotions of love, hope, fear, anger, loss, and disappointment. I am not afraid to allow the fountain flow from my eyes seeing someone overcome the greatest setback and limitation of their life, even when the story is fictional. Truly, like the saying goes, ‘Setbacks are given to ordinary people to make them extraordinary’. Every life is a script, a story, and we are all telling the story. Unfortunately for us all, we are not the authors of our stories, but we are given the daunting task of living the story. A few take up the additional responsibility of directing the story. Most stories that captivate audiences are those full of setbacks, disappointments, challenges, difficulties with a turn around at the nick of time to give the happy ending we all pray and hope for.
Every life is a script, a story, and we are all telling the story
No matter how great a story is, it is how the storyteller presents it that makes a lasting impression on our hearts. It is the skill and experiences of each storyteller that shine through, making the story captivating despite the challenges they faced. Depending on your experience and commitment, some directors will give you a free hand and opportunity to put your stamp on a role, which may include the chance to change the script. There are some decisions you make that change your story, change the trajectory, and how the story might end. One of my favourite preachers, John Gray, said recently, ‘A lifetime of wrong can be turned with one decision for right.’ All it takes is one good decision and it will break a legacy of brokenness in your story, background, and family.
Edit Your Story
Unconsciously for almost four decades, I have been editing the script I was handed to live out. There are so many ‘things’ I inherited by virtue of family history and heritage but choose not to allow to be part of my life. It was a decision I made because I wanted a better future than my past. There is always a defining moment in your story when you make a decision that changes everything. For Phiona in Queen of Katwe, it was chess. For me, it was my faith and determination to fulfil my potential and possibilities. Everyday presents an opportunity for us to start over and edit our stories. We all have what it takes – a changed heart, determination, and commitment to see through the process even when it’s very painful and seems unbearable. As Brene Brown writes in her book, ‘Daring Greatly’, ‘The power of owning our stories, even the difficult ones, is that we get to write the ending.’ Many of us may have been given the difficult, full-of-trouble story to live, but we get to have the privilege of rewriting the ending. Last weekend, I was watching Smurf 2 with my kids and wife, and towards the end of the movie, Smurfette made a profound statement that summarised the movie for me. She said, ‘It does not matter where you come from. What really matters is who you choose to be.’ That’s writing the ending.
The power of owning our stories, even the difficult ones, is that we get to write the ending
I read the story of Daria Dykowska (www.dariasadventure. wordpress.com) last year and I want to share her story with you. In her words she said,
’11 years ago I came to the UK with zero English and began year 6. I had to use a dictionary during my SATS exams to be able to pass. Secondary school was not an easy ride, with bullying and name calling. At college I found my love for media. Ravensbourne was a challenge. It pushed on every single last nerve string I had, made me a whole lot stronger to people’s bull and was also the best time of my life. I am ready to take on the world and create some awesome content that’s far from mediocre. Yesterday I graduated with First Class Honours, one of 7 in my whole class. No matter who and what you are- you’re the writer of your own story.’
No matter who and what you are- you’re the writer of your own story.
