In the last fifteen months, I have been reassessing what’s really important in my life and in the pursuit of my purpose, asking myself hard and uncomfortable questions. Taking a break from active ministry and leadership gave me the opportunity to take a step back and see things as they are and not as I am. Emotional involvement will always distort your perspective and view except you have mastered how to detach emotions and be objective. Can you relax and step away from everything without feeling guilty?
One thing most of us have mastered well is taking for granted what matters most to us- family (people that truly love us), health, freedom and life itself! How you do what you do shows what matters to you. What we say most times is different from what we do. We say we love and adore our family but treat our spouses harshly!
I asked my wife recently whether I neglected her and the kids while I was actively involved in church leadership. She said: “No, but you sometimes gave the impression or your actions showed that the church was more important than us.” The observation was spot on. Every passionate person (like me) has the tendency to immerse everything into what they believe in or working on and become unaware of what’s happening in and around them. I love my family and will never neglect them for anything. They come second after God. If I must pursue my passion without sending wrong messages, it’s important to establish boundaries.
If you don’t ask the hard questions, you may not know where you are with the people you truly love, or make the necessary decisions required to maintain a balanced life. It’s good to be passionate with what you do. However, I will counsel you take a step back often to reassess where you are. Don’t be passionate into self destruction! A founding lead pastor of one of the fastest growing churches in America visited all their campuses and told his congregation that he would be taking a two-month sabbatical leave to refocus, refresh and recharge to move the church to the next level in their vision. He said a young man then walked to him after his speech in one of the campuses and thanked him for the boldness and courage of his decision. “Thank you for doing this,” the young man said. “My father was a pastor and the church stole him from us; he would never have done what you are about to do.”
I encourage you to ask three questions from people close to you, who will tell you the truth in the context of your pursuit of purpose, ministry or even career.
You may be amazed that all it may require for balance is just a little adjustment in your schedule and time management. Don’t be afraid to take a step back. Retreat to advance.
