…when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2 NKJV
My five-year-old son, Joshua, is a little man with sometimes surprising vocabulary. Many of our joke lines at home are from him. You can’t predict what next will come out of his little mouth. I remember when my wife travelled out of the country for a few days and Joshua had just turned four. She called to check on us and Joshua told her on the phone, “Everything is under control.” I was shocked, wondering where he had heard that from.
This is what most of us tend to do as adults today. We tell everyone that everything is fine and under control when in reality, everything is out of control, falling apart and we are losing grip. We hide our frustration and sorrow and create an image everyone expects us to have. We hide our deepest pain so we won’t be seen or perceived to be weak. We have been told from childhood that only the weak cries!
I was ashamed and insecure to tell people I was not okay few years ago when I lost everything in business. It’s difficult admitting problems especially if you are a leader – everyone looks up to you and you don’t want to give the slightest impression of being vulnerable as well. I was so wrong! Never trust leaders who portray themselves as constantly strong and without vulnerability or struggle. I have discovered that people will identify more with your vulnerability than your strength and that does not dent their respect and honour for you in any way.
Anytime we ask someone, “Are you okay?” we don’t expect them to say no! The default answer we have programmed in our subconscious is “Yes, thank you.”
As much as I understand and believe in positive confession, I still want to advise you to apply wisdom. Don’t be too proud or ashamed to ask for help and support when it is available from a source that will not use it against you. Few years ago, my wife asked a lady after church service, “How are you doing?” To my wife’s surprise, the lady started crying and that was how a close relationship started.
It’s okay not to be okay always. Stop portraying yourself as strong when truly you are weak and screaming under your breath, “I need help.” It’s okay to ask for help and support.
